For real?

Well it's been a long time since I have sat still long enough to write anything again. But I have so many updates to share.

Mom~ is doing great traveling and doing everything she did before her surgery and even more. She looks great and I think the simple knowledge of knowing she has beat the disease has released a new peace within her.

Family~ My kids are awesome all starting new journey's this year. Joshua will be leaving for College a week from tomorrow to begin his two weeks of intense football camp. The one thing that puts my heart somewhat at ease is knowing Ryne will be training right alongside of him and they will push each other toward success. Anna & Ryne are doing great married life is agreeing with both of them. They are learning some hard lessons as we all do in making choices that affect not just yourself but each other as a married couple and even when they have their struggles it is still a joy to watch Christ work in their lives. They will both be seniors this year and God is already providing some leads for jobs that will be waiting for them as they graduate.

Arrianne will be a Junior in High School this year. I cannot believe my little girl I used to dress in bonnets and petticoats for church is driving and doing her own thing. This past summer Arrianne was blessed to travel to Guatemala for a Mission trip. It was life changing for her and she is already planning her next trip which looks like it will be to Ecuador. She is totally sold out to God and is counting the days when she can go to College major in international ministry and begin her journey towards missions. Jeff's love of missions and travel and my heart of serving and hospitality have transformed into a little traveling Annie! we are so proud of all of them and excited to watch God continue to lead.

This past month I traveled to Monroe Louisiana to represent the State of Kansas in the Miss/Mrs Plus America pageant. Although I only told a few people before I went as I was afraid of what it meant and also if I failed. I learned so much about myself at that pageant and I can honestly say I never felt more beautiful then standing on that stage with those women around me. That experience has changed me forever and I am so proud to be able to return in 2011 to Dallas and do it once again! It is funny how and when God chooses to use us or touch our lives with something we never expected. I have seen this so many times in relationships and in the many blessings her has provided our family.

This past year I was able to become closer to a young women who has a child with one of our football boys form MNU. Through our connections at the ballgames I was able to step in as a partime sitter for this precious mom and her special little baby. Legacy is now one years old and her and I have a special bond. God has given me a love for this little precious life that is as if she was a Huff from the very beginning. Just like God does he pieced our puzzle together for a reason as Legacy's Grandma Lisa was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in late March and has had a double mastectomy and chemo in just the past three months. None of this was a coincidence God knew we could walk with them on this journey and that Mom and Lisa would connect and need each other for support and encouragement.

I love that our life has seasons in it.....my favorite season is fall......football, tailgates, yelling, cowbell ringing, cuddling at a cold night game, apple cider and popcorn! I am thankful that in the "FALL" of my life I have so many wonderful things to celebrate and that I also have challenges to help me grow and strengthen as a women. I hope and pray that today your hot summer "stress" might be reminded that a cool fall is coming your way.....soon you can open the windows and blow the stress out of your life and yell and scream that stress away!

Oh and if you hear a cowbells ringing somewhere its me cheering you on!

Mama Huff

Sitting upright again!

It's been awhile since I have blogged. Mostly because the last 40 days of my life was spent preparing to be off my feet through my surgery, Annie's 16th Birthday, and easter. Most of you know that I am a former event/wedding planner so when I plan anything there are miles of tape to cut through. I cannot just say order a few pizzas and balloons. No I type up emails and instruction sheets for everyone involved and when anything doesn't go according to plan I FREAK! When I realized my surgery had been moved to just days before my babies 16th birthday party I knew it was gonna be a test for all who are near and dear to me!

Surgery~ there is an old nickname my mother in-law gave me years ago which is "banana peel lady". I will probably regret ever putting this on my blog but whatever I have never been nor will be modest or discreet. This nickname basically describes me in all matters that are sick, or medical, flexibility or coordination related. Everyone in my family knows that when I have anything done the normal recovery or procedure doesn't exist. I do not know whether I have an actual real live curse or just the worst luck ever known to man!

Case in point being my pre-surgery visit with my Doctor. As he so specifically stated each and every possible thing that could go wrong I realized it was better to just tune him out and not worry. The day of surgery as I am nervously waiting and praying with one of our wonderful pastors I feel pretty good and safe not to worried. However as I came out of surgery I begin to find out that my sons have done horrible things to my body. I knew having children that large was gonna come back to haunt me someday!!! So began a tither of complications as the day went on and misery I will not write about for fear no one else will ever decide to undergo this surgery!

Coming Home Halfway~ After surviving the day from hell I am finally able to go home or rather to my moms home. This is great but it's still a sign that I have to be slow and can't be around the kids and puppies yet. I make it through and am finally released to go home to my puppies (oh and my kids). As soon as I get home I get my list and realize there are problems with my pre planning and start to try and re-delegate....of course I get in some minor trouble with the hubs. (Nothing new here!)

Party/Easter without me~ Easter and Lent and all that it embodies is my most favorite holiday. I love having my family here after Easter worship. I love having a huge easter egg hunt for my friends and sisters kids. I love new clothes and flowers and I love that My Annie came home to love with us on easter sunday. So having to not be able to host and to not feel good all weekend was so depressing and it just made me feel yuckier (is that a word?).

Anyway all of this sadness and poor pathetic me still reminds me of how much God loves me. Last week some really bad stuff happened to my body and it's been a rough few days but I have the most amazing husband, kids, family and friends. I had friends bringing me food that I have met through cheerleading, church, working together in the past. That was so wonderful in fact tomorrow Jeff leaves town and my meals have stopped so I might go into SHOCK! :-)

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me I have certainly needed it. I haven't got my pathology results back yet so your prayers are still needed. I am confident however scary it is to wait. I am still really slow and sore and prayers for continued healing would be appreciated. Thanks again for loving us Huff's and especially this "banana peel gal".

mama huff

Balloons & Jelly Donuts?

I have been so busy I haven't had anytime to sit down so I am forcing myself to write an update before I pass out and sleep! Last friday Mom had her final surgery procedure where they removed the expanders (the balloons we affectionately have named them) and replaced them with the permanent boobies (or jelly donuts). She did great was in and out and back home resting all before lunchtime.

I didn't get to really see her until saturday afternoon. When I saw her she looked great wrapped in a big bandage but other then that looked fantastic. She says other then the itchy band-aid she had no pain or discomfort. Her figure looks amazing I can't believe how proportioned she looks and so feminine. It's been fun to see all the cute new tops she wears and it seems sometimes that they even look more girly then before. That she my friends deserves for all that she has been through...whatever makes her feel like a woman!!! :-)

I continue to be so very proud of her and all that she has done. I am excited in a few weeks to see her in a swimsuit. We are going to their home in Naples for spring break and I am sure she will be full ready to put on her new swimsuits! I for one am gonna be jealous at the cute grandma on the beach!!!!

Thank you for your continued love, support, cards, emails, and text messages. All of these have made a difference and an impact on her healing journey. Please keep my family and myself in your prayers as I will begin my surgery and recovery the last week of March. I am also looking forward to being done and moving on to the other side of peace and not worry.

The Lord is good and continues to grant us all that we need each day.

Mama Huff

Rewind

This past weekend we went back to our Church home of almost 20 years. It was not the first time we have been back to visit but today was the 3rd anniversary weekend of my Grandfathers death. Sunday Feb 18th 2007 was the day he went to be with Jesus, so it was somewhat fitting to go back and see the Church he loved and prayed for everyday while he was here. It wasn't long after Poppie Emmett's passing that we found ourselves looking for a new place to worship. That year was difficult, lonely and scary.

Sometimes I have wondered many times what I look like inside since I have begun to worship in a new way, or whether "we" as a unit have suffered or "we" have made a mistake or been selfish. I've cried so many tears and have ached in places that were so dark and deep that I never thought I could feel the same again. Today was a strange but wonderful thing to feel the love and warmth of those who are such a big part of our families history. However a long awaited answer was given to both Jeff and I today.

Our family has been very blessed the past three years. Whatever the hurtful moment was that caused us to feel led away God was with us. Whatever we missed or ached for God was able to fill us. Whatever we've needed as we have been more isolated to our tiny family unit in prayer and support we have been able to feel Him and see Him at work. In our daily lives God has brought us so many miracles financially, through moms healing, through the celebration of our new beautiful daughter in law and so much more.

I am so thankful for the love each of my kids has for their God. I am so thankful for the place God has allowed me to be in ministry. My ministry is to care for my family, my husband, baby Legacy and her momma and our wonderful awesome MNU football family (boys). What a blessed life I live. What a blessed place to be!

Thank You Lord for your constant guidance and for keeping us on our toes. Thank you Lord that when we obey you even through pain and suffering you are able to reward and bless our lives. What a fellowship you have for us......!

What a fellowship of what a joy divine

Leaning on the everlasting arms
What a blessedness what a peace of mind
Leaning on the everlasting arms

Leaning, leaning safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning leaning on the everlasting arms

My turn.

It's been a long time since I have had a minute to sit still and think about my blog and all that we have seen and been through these past few months. Mom is doing great this past monday at an appointment she showed me her chest and her scars are barely visible already and her new breast have a great size and shape. She will be getting her permanent boobies in later in Feb. I can't believe how fast time has gone by and how amazing she feels and looks. God has truly blessed her body and soul and has really given her so many miracles and moments for her to even share her faith through her experience.

Some of you may have seen that I have recently had some testing done. I made a decision after walking through everything with mom to have some things done for myself. I have started the genetic testing process. I may or may not find out anything different from what we already know. However, as we have done the tree for our family history we have found that there are 5 people who have died or been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. This shows that their is obviously some sort of mutation in the gene whether or not it shows up on the Braca testing it still has a pattern and is following every generation of the family.

Knowing this and knowing I am not planning to have more children I have decided to have an elective surgery and have my ovaries and uterus removed. At this time it will most likely happen in the next month or so. I am very at peace with this decision and I am also ready to get it done and begin moving through the recovery process and on to the other side of female life. There are some pretty serious things I have to go through and also some side effects I am not excited about but I do believe this is the right decision for me.

After my recovery I will have some other consultations and will possibly under go some elective breast surgery. I do not believe at this time I will go through with the mastectomy unless in the genetic testing we find any changes to the gene mutation.

I continue to write these blogs and share in detail because you need to know your family history and your risk. You need to be your own advocate no one else is going to do it for you. My experience with this disease is that those who are getting into high risk studies, testing or seeing doctors who are involved in research these are the women who are surviving these battles and winning their fight. Just going once a year to a check up is NOT enough you have to do more you have to keep score of your body and anything that develops or changes. You have to write it down and You HAVE to go back as far as you can and find out what you can about aunts, cousins, grandparents etc. If your adopted then you HAVE to have genetic testing that is the only way in which to help yourself and your children know about early detection.

"Lord thank you for my friends and family and for everyone who is and will continue to pray for us as we walk this journey."

Mama Huff